After the escalator abruptly stopped just as Pastor Dave was approaching, the entire responsive reading and the first 40 minutes of the sermon had to be postponed. “I didn’t know what to do,” said ...

President Trump issued a warning to pregnant woman this week – avoid knackzoat. “It can only be bad. Not good,” said Trump. “Very bad. Let me see. How do you pronounce this? It’s called kay nack? What ...

The local thrift store got a huge influx of margarine containers, old license plates, and Clorox bottles this week after local man, Dave Klassen, donated literally everything he owned. “The Internet ...

The prayers of Omas and Opas across Steinbach were finally answered this week as all the remaining folks who had yet to be baptized were greeted with a deluge. “I was hoping to get baptized in the ...

Fresh from high level cabinet meetings, Prime Minister Mark Carney has come up with a brand new plan to address the nation’s housing crisis–hire the Amish. “I’m sure they can raise a few thousand ...

When Mrs. Doerksen left her Sunday School room for a couple minutes this afternoon, she was shocked to discover that one of the posters was still stuck to the wall. “Of course, it came down the moment ...

Area person has opinion about issue and has expressed that opinion about issue on social media. “I couldn’t let this issue pass without formulating and expressing an opinion about it,” said Area ...

Years ago, in the early days of the Daily Bonnet, I created a guide to pronouncing Mennonite surnames correctly, since so many Englishers seem to have trouble with it. Now, however, with the amazing ...

Froeses and Friesens of Fridensfeld are frantically flailing about to fortify their flowers and fruit this Friday following a forewarning about a first frost. “Frida and I nearly fe’schlucked when we ...

A recent encounter with Radiohead’s seminal 1997 track “Let Down” on TikTok has spiralled Winkler-area Swiftie Melissa Sawatzky into a profound state of existential angst this week. “Never heard such ...

Area man Pete Krahn, 62, did not have a question for the speaker at a local conference this afternoon, but instead stood up and launched into an irrelevant 20 minute anecdote about his childhood.

The Edmonton book ban is turning heads this week after one glaringly obvious omission – Rudy Wiebe’s Peace Shall Destroy Many. “That book’s been banned in more or less every other community where ...